If you have been following Wife, Mom, House…Oh My! then it won’t come as a surprise that I am a major proponent of dating your spouse. Being in love does not end with saying “I do.” or “I’m pregnant.” So why does the romance seem to? Why is it that we allow our lives to become comfortable and stagnant? The answer actually is – It does not have to be that way. Some of the best marriages I have been so fortunate to observe work, and sometimes harder than other times, to keep that romance, that passion for each other alive. Yet they balance it with the changes that naturally come with being married, having babies, watching them grow into kids and into teens and on to adults. It’s work, hard work, but it is worth the work.
They also balance always doing what the other spouse wants. Its a give and take. Marriage, itself, is give and take – just not one always takes and the other always gives. Its a balance. Just as I went fishing – not my favorite activity though I don’t hate it – my hubby in turn has gone on some not so “manly” dates with me. In fact one of our first probably put his masculinity and love for me to the test. In the end he had an awesome time and has joined me on several additional occasions.
Its an atypical or rather a-tea-pical date. I took him to my favorite tea house. And yes it is totally girl in décor. And yes, its patrons are mainly women (not all but mainly). And yes, he had to drink tea in a dainty cup. But the food at Two a Tea is made by a gourmet trained culinary arts chef, who just happens to also be the owner. Every creation of hers is better than the last and is a meal I look forward to with much anticipation every time I make reservations. I knew my hubby, who adores eating really good food, would love that aspect.
But something that both of us seem to agree on is that when you go to tea, its an experience unlike anything else. Time seems to stand still and yet fly. When you are done two or three hours later you are trying to figure out how it went so fast. However, during every minute of that two or three hours, it seems as if you can talk about everything and have forever to pour and delve into any and every topic. Its as if the world around you keeps on moving but in her little tea shop, it stops. You are completely in the moment. Its one of the few occasions, though surrounded by others all enjoying tea themselves, that you are completely able to shut everyone else out and enjoy just the two of you. Truthfully, it has been one of the most bonding experiences I feel we have had.
In the end, we both had a great time and left with full bellies and dessert to go. What I have found, is that when you balance activities for date nights with things you both enjoy, things your spouse enjoys and you can tolerate, and things you enjoy that your spouse can tolerate, then, in the end, you have a solid foundation to keep the romance and passion (though admittedly different) alive. And who knows what might surprise either of you as being your cup of tea!
Until next post.